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Blaming the victim - "... surviors of severe trauma--combat soldiers, prisoners of war, rape victims, disastger victims, hotages, battered women---universally attribute their survival to largely to good luck. But who wants to believe that our well-being hinges upon chance? Instead we trace the root of trouble from where it flowers. ... we search the victim for those peculiarities of psyche and circumstance that made the life give way, or, worse, impelled the victim to step across the line herself, deliberate and heedless .... we try 'to account for the victim's behavior by seeking flaws in her personality or moral character' because, having no knowledege of terror or coercision, we presume that in similar circumstances we 'would show greater courage and resistance than the victim.'" From Next Time She'll Be Dead, pg. 174 "...[T]he battered woman whom we think of as 'staying' with a batterer, or returning to him, is usally a woman held captive by the force of separation assault. And as we have seen time and time again, when a woman perseveres in her struggle to get free, the grand finale of separation assault is often her own death." From Next Time She'll Be Dead, pg 150. |
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What is domestic violence? |
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Domestic violence and emotional abuse are behaviors used by one person in a relationship to control the other. From the Oakland County Coordinating Council Against Domestic Violence |
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Separation Assault - "the attack on the woman's body and volition in which her partner seeks to prevent her from leaving, retaliate for the separation or force her return. It aims at overbearing her will as to where and with whom she will live, and coercing her in order to enforce connection in a relationship. It is an attempt to gain, retain, or regain power in a relationship, or to punish the woman for ending the relationship. It often takes place over time." Law Professor Martha R. Mahoney, as cited in Next Time, She'll Be Dead, pg. 150. |
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